today poetry

So now,
in the crash and boom,
so now
so now,
in the crash and boom so now, yours
(as they hand me and beyound))
I will
(as some handle dolls)
as some love the vortex of television
(some quatro and silver)
as I started this journey
(it had a start,
some attack:
their fiction, not mine and
I eloped; even lied)
as famouse cliches jumped out
(with aggression)
(a smudge in the floating mirror above;
in the paranoia of lost freinds;
voices finding a home)
find these smudges as personas
and place them around me
the most embaressing:
yes I am a criminal
yes I am a major drug trader
yes I do have an office in so-ho
yes I am a liar.
Yes I am envious.
Some broken guilt as I admit
Yes I was screeming,
Some long loss now remembered
So sitting at the curb insisting I was fine
Till finaly
They took me in.