here it is so far

http://www.lulu.com/content/1225571

COMING SOON, but.....

Book soon (it's october, just) in the mean time, I enjoyed these (may way of saving them...)

wikipedia on...HANGING, very thorough:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanging

and....Flipper and the memory of Will Shatter, 20th year aniversary of his death (I remember it well - my ex knew him from london or some such and it was a big drama...recomemnded, very thorough

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flipper_%28band%29

no more CBGB, now, no more Hilly Kristal

Well, there goes my misspent youth. I never met Hilly but I did stand near him a few times, going through the cbgb site (cbgb.com) I was surprised to see youthful pictures of, he looked old by the time I started hanging out around 1991, painting and showing at marsbar (marz bar?) around the corner though I was in a show at cbgb's 313 once, and went to shows plenty.

Picture I chose is from the Dictators files and their guitarist sitting on an old Volvo 122, chosen because I had one right around then. Apparently the whole are has been torn down and redon - was the bowery after all. Sort of amazing, they will gentrify anything.

The schizophrenic's notebook part 15

15 you know that's very funny, pony thing, sort of down the road from TV cars, like a flawless owl as your self-sequence ran down to your addiction for yourself. I try not to think about it myself. See...I don't own a car; see, what I need is a real and true 1/2 car...honest...I've been thinking about it like...car fragments, a corner with training wheels. I bet you have some horses too. You know what I'm gonna do, get a whole bunch of letters and scramble em - oh Christ...that screaming again...you know...you know what really impresses me about you all...you never mind the screaming; I had to do this before, the car thing like...I lost it and...you know what happens and...I had to watch TV for a while; I hate that. No car, lot's of words...almost got it mathed out.... They sort of stared at me: "sorry ... still working on a dart deal; have to inspire mom's duck tape lady and...all the excitement, murder just isn't gonna do it...you guys are so far ahead of me...like...those guys over their...really...it's a dart...light weight...yea...a hemi...who do I kill - it's ...that bad. We left it in Reno; got ourselves arrested on purpose so they’d take the car.

Schizophrenic's notebook (13) 14

13 no 1314: "voices...how long have you been hearing the voices..." "They change...for a long time I liked the voices I heard but...since George and wtc...they've been unpleasant and recently..." "Yea... “Like...clouds with a face drawn on, little bunnies with strange magical powers...a counter point to the little fringed box your car arrived in,. and their lovely arrogance" "Need new friends...new voices..." "She's too expensive...." "She's busy...car first..." "My rabbit friends don’t like it...they take command sometimes - they say: This is L5...I am a one inch tall bat bunny...I am in control...stand and stall...talk about anything but sports....take desired control of the self as though it could broken down into components; imagine your little friends as a slave to themselves; and then speak quietly and logically...we will do the rest. She's about 4 years old apparently...” "Quite some friends you have," "hey...they're in jersey hiding...research, sort of stuck actually, you see...like me...the don't have a used car....gloss blue light really pisses em off actually" "Pretty girl" he nodded toward the blond: - always a blond:" don’t you think?" and I looked at the couple beaming out: “Little moth eaten actually...hotel California thing again; they complain a lot I bet...disappointed - I swear, crazy old bitch down stairs from me right now...I don't care for her...seems to find solace occasionally...probably...mmm...she is pretty isn’t she; I'll set my watch...how log do you think disappointment will set in...? She's, you know...down stairs, kind of predictable...little names for the self like elves running around her skull...I dunnoI think she's got one of those...right there; want me to walk down stairs and discuss the used car problem...hold on...spot done checking out the visage. Vivian Leigh season don't you know."

The Schizophrenics Notebook part 12

12 ... round midnight: as she and her lover formed a perfect square; lovely for moon lit strolls; audience burning her image; finally distant hated lovers. "No car hu...pretty tough." "I dunno, maybe I do - they don't always tell me." Oh no, nails popped out, running as a self inflicted square emerged; how much she didn't love me and how her lack of desire would ignite a passion in my heart. Should give "mom" a call; think...something finally happened; think...miss duck tape made a mistake; another hovered on the green. Sorry you guys, no money, have to find a new agony, I do this semi-pro you know; a waif within as some final judgment, choking on my dreary soul, always so disappointed; dad's other kid, the one on the list ... I sort of do this on purpose; if you stare at me too long I'll find the zero… all those apartments, they couldn't bare; really, I'll give you a new personality, tenant in your own design, sort of, bounce around for awhile - see, hear the echo? They hate it.

schizophrenic's notebook number 11

11 Coffee? Another happy customer; another voice , another faked death, (journey; princess avenue):"I never drink coffee" he said very oppressively; those girls, you know how it is: black guys and.. .there he was., and there she was, off the wall (or still theresome dream succeeded; further evidence I was a failure;; one dead pimp bleeding on the runway, other, male, finally, happy car deal.) They were the couple: drive and drive and drive; glossy and dangerous (too quiet down the hall; like I tried not to breath. They were staring at me so: "Yea...those girls...one up there, bad crew, cut their nerve endings, stop at nothing." "See the dog", and they were still standing around the airplane, waiting, suddenly bored; enough alloys for one day by golly - too much of a good thing. This is what happens when you spoil the waifs cadre express; long tunnel bringing in a new blond; ha ha...eat you right up. every time; and they started firing away round the fuselage again; waiting for the real plane - they'd fill the moat real fast: "Not goanna tell me that mutant mut story again...breeder of Mongoloid dogs, I swear you can be smart and pay your taxes...can't you.?" No ..they shook their head slowly...never...no...sorry....see...she keeps trying to steal l the jobs you won't take.; and then...her old friends.. .mischief...you're note feint are you?' "hu." "have to."